on my way
by fearlessly
Summary: Kurt and Blaine are soulmates. This story is about their connection and how they meet.


**A/N ... Warning for canonical character death. Lyrics used in this story and title are from the song To Find You, by Sing Street Movie. I own nothing.**

 _"_ _I know I'll get my heart through._

 _Got miles to go, but from the day I started crawlin'_

 _I was on my way to find you."_

 **March 14, 1995 - Lima**

Elizabeth sang softly to herself as she cracked open the window. She knew by the warm breeze that spring would soon be upon Lima. She breathed in the fresh air as she sat in her easy chair with a cup of tea, gazing out the window at the filtering sunshine. This had become her routine since her son had been born. Every morning she would take a few minutes for herself to have a cup of tea and prepare for the day, while Kurt played happily on the floor near her. Luckily for her, little Kurt had already developed into a morning person. He was happiest in the early hours, and needed little attention. This, of course, was a contrast to his demeanor in the late afternoon, between his nap and dinner time. It was a good thing that Burt made a point to be home early on most days, giving Elizabeth an afternoon reprieve as he played with their squealing son.

As she sipped her tea, Elizabeth smiled down at Kurt and watched him play with his wooden cars. He was almost two years old now, and Elizabeth didn't know where the time had gone. It seemed it was just yesterday that her bundle of joy had been born. Now he was walking, talking, and had developed his very own personality and characteristics. Elizabeth was grateful that her son was so good and joyful. Most days, it didn't take much to make him happy.

In these moments of quiet, Elizabeth often thought about her son and silently wished that he would have a happy childhood. Lord knew she and Burt did everything in their power to ensure his safety and happiness, but Elizabeth knew as well as anyone that sometimes life wasn't that simple. She had dreams for Kurt. She wanted him to be accepted and loved, not only by their family, but by their friends and eventually his friends too. She wanted success for him academically and in whichever extra-curricular activities he would partake in, and eventually in his chosen career; but above all else, she wished for Kurt's happiness. She hoped that he would find that within himself, and would be lucky enough to find someone to share it with one day and have a family of his own. Elizabeth sometimes got ahead of herself. It was her mother's-heart that made her want everything all at once for her young son.

When she finished her tea, she put her cup aside and sunk down to the floor beside Kurt, smiling as he abandoned his cars to crawl into her embrace and nuzzle against her bosom. She held him for a moment, burying her face in his fine auburn hair, smelling of baby shampoo. Kurt wiggled suddenly and Elizabeth let him go – no one-year-old sat still for very long; Kurt was no exception. She watched as he walked over to the pile of colourful wooden blocks in the corner, a gift sent to him by her grandmother in France. Kurt sorted through all the different shapes until he found the fuchsia-coloured heart. When he held it to his little chest and uttered the word "love", Elizabeth's smile reached her brightly shining eyes.

 **March 14, 1995 - Westerville**

Little Blaine Anderson slept a lot, as most four-month-olds do, but that didn't stop him from waking up at 5:44 a.m. every morning like clockwork. Pamela, his mother, was grateful for her son, even at that ungodly hour. It had taken a long time and effort to conceive a sibling for Cooper, so when it had finally happened she had been overjoyed and vowed to not take a moment for granted. So with a lot of caffeine and practiced patience, she rose with her son, fed him, dressed him, and played with him. All of this, as well as getting seven-year-old Cooper up and ready for school, really took its toll on Pamela; so when nap time came along, she was more than willing to put Blaine into his crib and sing him to sleep.

This particular day though, Blaine was more rambunctious than usual. He kicked his legs and spun around in his crib like a little break-dancer. He cooed loudly and made grabby hands at his mother, surely wanting more milk - as if the belly full he'd just drank wasn't enough.

Pamela laughed fondly at her son. He was her perfect angel, even when he didn't want to fall asleep. As she hummed a familiar melody, she gazed at Blaine, noticing how the dark fuzz on his head had started to curl beautifully, and how his honey-coloured eyes were developing flecks of green. God, how she loved him. She often couldn't believe how she and her husband had been blessed with two amazing sons – both very different from each other, but both with that same sense of whimsy and joy. She could already tell that Blaine was going to be a child full of character and just plain … good. She wished the world for him, happiness, success, joy, and so much love. She often wondered who his friends would be, and eventually who he would find love with and marry. Whoever she may be, Pamela knew she would be a lucky woman because her son was the best the world had to offer.

Blaine babbled softly as his mother sang the final verse of the song. He had stopped wiggling, his eyes drooping and his little lips suckling, no doubt already dreaming of milk. Just before he fell asleep though, Pamela noticed Blaine startle softly. He turned onto his side and reached for the red stuffed heart at the edge of his crib, a gift sent from her sister on Blaine's birthday. Once the fleece heart was safely in Blaine's little fists, he brought it to his chest, hugged it, and fell promptly into slumber.

 _"_ _You were staring at your bedroom wall,_

 _With only ghosts beside you._

 _Somewhere out where the wind was callin'_

 _I was on my way to find you."_

 **November 3, 2001 – Lima / Westerville Memorial Cemetery**

It was a cold fall morning. Kurt wasn't really feeling the temperature, or anything for that matter aside from a confusing and dark emptiness he had never felt before. He hadn't even known that kind of hurt existed, which wasn't a big surprise, considering he was only eight years old. The one thing anchoring him to the present was his father's large hand wrapped tightly around his. Kurt's other hand clutched the largest bouquet of white lilies and lilacs he could carry. They were his mother's favourite; she had planted them in her garden every year and always displayed them in a simple gathering on the kitchen table. Kurt hadn't accepted any other arrangement for this day.

Softly, he pressed his face to the bouquet in hand, trying desperately to escape the scene before him: a dark casket being lowered into the deep hole in the ground, the squeeze of his dad's hand in rhythm to each of the hitching sobs he was trying to swallow down, and the soft cries of the people around him - some of whom he didn't even know.

With a gentle tug, his father pulled him forward to stand alongside him and closer to the hole. Kurt closed his eyes for a moment, willing his tears at bay. If his father wasn't crying, he shouldn't either, not in front of all these people, not when his mother wasn't there to wipe them away and tell him that everything was going to be okay.

He watched as his dad's own bundle of white roses fell into the hole. He heard them thud against the casket but didn't have the courage to look in. With shaky hands, he picked three lilac petals off the arrangement and pocketed them; it was like having a piece of his mother with him. Then, he simply lifted up the bouquet and watched as a few other lilac petals got caught by the wind and flittered off into the distance. With a deep breath and a rising sense of doom in his stomach, he dropped the flowers and watched them land beside the roses.

Later that night, after his dad had read him a book and kissed his head with a somber, "good night, kiddo," Kurt hugged his pillow against his chest and listened to the howling wind. The petals' fragrance filtered through the pillowcase, providing a subtle reminder of his mother. Kurt cried himself to sleep as he thought about how his life would never be the same again, and about how he was going to have to go on without her.

 **November 3, 2001 – Lima/Westerville Memorial Cemetery**

Blaine hated coming here. It was creepy and sad; and since the day his mother started bringing him, she had not been the same. She cried so often and ignored most everything, including him and his brother. It was like she didn't have the energy to live her life any more, like her passion had been swallowed up by grief.

From the moment Blaine was born, his mother had been his life. She had always catered to his needs and then some. Blaine had always thought she was the best mom in the world. She played with him, helped him with homework, read him to bed, and stuck up for him when his dad teased him, which was more often than it should have been. But now, since his grandmother had died, his mother was seemingly a different person. Blaine knew the reason. She missed her mom, but he didn't understand why it had distorted her _so much_. The change in her had been dramatic, and Blaine wished so badly for the day she would return to being his mom again.

Every week, without fail, for the past few months, his mother dragged him and his brother to the cemetery to visit her mother. Cooper and he would just stand and wait awkwardly while she talked and cried to the tombstone. Blaine often closed his eyes and hummed softly to himself, drowning out his mother's sobs. He pretended to be somewhere else – anywhere else: in his room playing Operation, watching Beauty and the Beast, or building with his Lego. Today though, Blaine's attention was taken by a bright white fluttering. At first he thought it was a butterfly, but his science books had taught him that butterflies were a spring and summer bug. It wasn't until the fluttering landed on his black boots that he realized what they were – three delicate lilac petals. Blaine picked them up gingerly and placed them into his pocket with a smile. They would fit in perfectly with his dried-flowers collection. He couldn't wait to get home to put them into his scrapbook.

Later that night, as the wind howled outside his window, Blaine tried desperately not to cry himself to sleep. His father's lecture about watching "those movies" – namely, musicals, still rang in his ears. Eventually, Blaine sneaked out of bed to his desk. He turned on a flashlight and paged through the scrapbook, his finger trembled as he caressed the three white petals stuck to the corner of the parchment. Somehow, the sight, feel, and scent of them were comforting.

 _"_ _Gotta find out who I'm meant to be._

 _I don't believe in destiny."_

 **April 11, 2008 – Lima**

Kurt has known for a long time. When his mom was around he knew something about him was different, but he had been too young to really know what that was - and that it was important, much less know that it wasn't readily accepted as "normal". Now that he was ready to really begin sorting his thoughts and feelings, his mom wasn't here to help him. Sure, his dad was amazing, and although he had gotten better at communicating and at trying to really get to know him, his dad was not as equipped to deal with something like this as his mother had been. In hindsight, Kurt was pretty sure his mother had known all along – even before he himself figured it out. Kurt didn't know if he would ever come out to his dad, because he wasn't sure how he would react. Kurt wouldn't be able to handle not being accepted and loved. His mom would have served as a buffer for his dad, and would have loved him no matter what. Kurt knew this like he knew his own name. But, she was gone. And Kurt felt utterly alone.

Kurt had wanted his last year of middle school to be special, but it ended up being quite the opposite. The bullies were relentless this year, calling him names and snickering as he walked past. And now, with the spring (aka graduation) dance approaching, Kurt felt vulnerable and more alone than ever. He couldn't do what he really wanted to, which was to ask his only friend Tyson to go to the dance with him. Kurt wasn't even sure if Tyson was gay, but he knew that even if Tyson agreed to go as just friends, they would end up being harassed or worse. He could go with a girl, but honestly, Kurt didn't want to hide. If he couldn't be himself he didn't want to be at all. He was afraid to talk to his dad about it, and he definitely couldn't confide in any of the teachers at school.

So, Kurt resolved to skip the dance and just stay home listening to his Beatles albums on repeat (turning up the volume when Blackbird came on) and try to make it through his final year of middle school. Maybe high school would be better.

 **April 11, 2008 – Westerville**

Blaine had thought it was a good idea. He had thought it was the right time. He had thought his family would accept him and love him through it. He had thought wrong, so terribly wrong.

His father had been disgusted and angry, but that wasn't as bad as what his mother's reaction had been. She was silent, unmoving, and her stare was vacant, like it so often was these days. Blaine hadn't expected her to jump for joy, but he had hoped that she would help him when his father lashed out, and that above all else, he had wished that she would just _love_ him. He would even cope without the acceptance of his parents if he had to, but without their love, he felt unworthy, unimportant, and utterly alone.

Despite the turmoil, Blaine wasn't going to let this opportunity pass him by. He had gathered the courage to ask his best friend Billy to the Sadie Hawkins Spring Dance, and Billy had accepted. Blaine wasn't sure if they were going as friends or more, but really it didn't matter. He was going to the dance with a _boy_.

As he and Billy walked into the gymnasium, Blaine's heart sped up. This was real, it was happening. He looked at the cheesy decorations, heard the amateur band, and looked shyly into the eyes of the boy beside him – his friend, maybe his _date_. As Blackbird by The Beatles played in the background, Blaine thought this was the best night of his life. His parents may not understand his feelings for boys, but he was beginning to understand quite nicely. Maybe tonight would be the night he would have his first kiss.

 _"_ _I was on my way to find you._

 _I was on my way, every day._

 _I was on my way to find you."_

 **November 9, 2010 – Westerville**

Kurt really didn't know what he was doing. Sent on a wild-goose chase by Puck, no less, he was at the prestigious Dalton Academy in Westerville, an hour's drive from his own school, clad in a poor excuse for the Dalton uniform looking to spy on their rival show choir, The Warblers.

Kurt wasn't big into espionage, but Puck had basically dared him to go and Kurt Hummel never backed down from a dare – especially when the challenge came from the self-declared Badass of McKinley. Kurt was doing it out of spite – but also because he was curious. He had heard about The Warblers' rock-star-esque fame, at least as far as Westerville went, and with it being an all-boys school, Kurt thought that a little research wouldn't hurt.

The students around him seemed frenzied, every one of them hurried down the elaborate staircase and down the hallway. The buzzing in the air was infectious, even to Kurt. He wished he knew what was going on, or at least that someone would stop long enough so that he could ask them.

He figured the best thing to do would be to just follow the crowd (something that was actually alien to Kurt). As he descended the stairs, boys weaved around him, the noise grew louder, and Kurt even felt dizzy for a moment. He gripped the banister and his eyes focused on a sheet of paper floating down, practically landing in his hands. When he looked down at what it was, he saw that it was sheet music. The title at the top read, _Teenage Dream_.

Kurt clutched the paper, followed his curiosity and the crowd until he saw Dalton's headmaster trolling the hallways towards him. His father would kill him if he got caught trespassing and spying. No show choir title was worth Burt Hummel's wrath. Besides, he had what he came for – intel into the Warblers' set list - in his hands. Kurt turned and high-tailed it back to Lima.

 **November 9, 2010 – Westerville**

Blaine was excited and nervous. Today he and The Warblers were showcasing one of their chosen numbers for the upcoming regionals competition to the entire student body. This wasn't anything new to him; The Warblers performed to the school and community all the time, but it would be the first time that Blaine would front the group. He and he alone would be singing the lead in _Teenage Dream_. He knew he could do this; performing was in his blood, but that didn't stop his nerves from making an appearance. He wanted to be good, no – outstanding. He wanted the boys to be proud of him. He wanted to be accepted as a verified Warbler.

As Blaine made his way to the staircase, his excitement got the best of him. As he rounded the corner, he crashed head on with a fellow student, making all his music fly out and over the banister. After apologizing profusely and dusting himself off, Blaine carried on, not wanting to be late for his break-out performance. He lost some sheet music, but it wasn't important. He knew _Teenage Dream_ like the back of his hand.

 _"_ _You were racing like a cannonball._

 _And roller skates and sky blue."_

 **August 18, 2012 – Somewhere Over Pennsylvania**

The mixed emotions had Kurt's stomach teetering between excitable butterflies and the full-out nausea. If he had been old enough to get away with it, he would've ordered the strongest alcohol the airline offered in order to calm his nerves. Being only eighteen, he settled for a ginger ale.

Kurt leaned back in his seat and tried to close his eyes and just breathe, but the fluffy clouds outside his window were hypnotizing. He imagined bouncing, and snuggling down into them as if they were a lush duvet, warmed by the sun. Of course, Kurt knew that was impossible, but he had always been a dreamer.

Now, as he was on his way to New York City for good, Kurt wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. He had reached his first long term goal – to get out of Lima. For Kurt, there was no better place to start his life than NYC. He had dreamed of going there since he was a kid, and now that dream was coming to fruition.

NYADA would not be easy, he knew this. He was not going to fool himself into thinking that he had "made it". No, he knew he had a long hard road ahead of him, but he was confident that with a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck, he would succeed. He was determined to find his way and weave his path in the enormous city - the city full of culture, acceptance, opportunity, and vibrant fun.

To say that he was excited would be an understatement, but that was not all Kurt was feeling. Leaving everything he had ever known, his school, his friends, and even the bullies was not easy. Yes, he despised the guys who had made his life a living hell, but still - they were familiar. They had been a predictable constant in his life. They had made him stronger. He couldn't help but feel a little lost, not knowing exactly what this big move would bring him. He hoped it was more of the same – good friends, music, performing… but he also hoped it would be different, no one to judge him on what he wore, how he sounded, and who he was destined to love.

Kurt knew though, that in the big scheme of things, little else mattered in relation to the person he would miss most – the person who had helped mold him and nurture him – his dad. Kurt hadn't missed the tear rolling down his cheek as he waved goodbye at the airport. If there was one thing that could keep him tied to Lima it was his father. His father was everything to him. Kurt knew though that Burt wouldn't stand for that. He wouldn't allow his son to put his future, his life, his chance at success and happiness on hold just because he was sad. That's one of the reasons Kurt loved him so much. He was truly selfless and had always been in Kurt's corner cheering the loudest.

Kurt pressed his lips together and took a deep breath, willing himself not to cry. He took a tentative sip of his ginger ale and looked once again at the billowing clouds beyond. He was a mix of emotions, but Kurt was happy and looking forward to finding himself, his career, and eventually someone to share everything with.

 **August 18, 2012 – Westerville**

Blaine was grateful – grateful that he didn't have to enrol in Dalton's offered summer classes, because there was no way he would survive the heat in those polyester pants and blazer. He was happy to wear shorts, t-shirts, and no shoes for three summer months. Blaine was also grateful for this day, one in which he and his Warbler brothers took for driving to the lake and letting loose, something they weren't allowed much of when school was in session.

Blaine reveled in the sun beating down on his skin, which was now fully bared to the environment except for the short swim trunks and SPF 50 he was wearing. He leaned back on the beach blanket, which was scattered along the lake's edge. It wasn't a full-out beach, but the rock-less dirt was good enough for him and his friends. Blaine tried to relax as he soaked up the sun listening to Wes', David's, Nick's, and Jeff's muted voices in the background, as they splashed each other. He would get there eventually, when the heat of the sun was too much to bear.

For now, he was happy laying back and watching the white puffy clouds through his yellow sunglasses. He had always loved to imagine the clouds were animals. As a puffy rabbit floated by, Blaine turned his thoughts to more serious matters – like how he was going to survive his last summer in Westerville, and then his senior year at Dalton with his father around. Mr. Anderson had been traveling a lot lately, mostly due to his wife's insistence. It was better for Blaine that way. He and his father didn't get along, so when he was home things were tense, and sometimes even unbearable. But now, with his dad changing law firms, he wasn't going to be traveling as much. He would be home more and no doubt would ride Blaine about his future. Last time they saw each other had ended with Blaine storming out when his father insisted Blaine follow in his footsteps.

Blaine would rather die than become a defense attorney – it's not that Blaine thought it was a boring career choice; it's just that Blaine had dreams and goals of his own, most of which were of him becoming successful in the music industry. And he certainly didn't want to follow his father anywhere, let alone in his footsteps.

Blaine was already looking at NYU brochures. Before school let out for the summer, Blaine had spoken to Dalton's career guidance advisor about what he would need in order to apply to the reputable school. This was Blaine's goal. This was where he wanted to go. NYU would be the perfect place to hone his skills and become the musician he'd always wanted to be … and New York, it went without saying that Blaine would be happier there. He needed to be in a place where he could be himself. Dalton was fine, and he never had any trouble there – but outside of those four walls Blaine felt trapped. The irony made him chuckle and brought him out of his thoughts.

As the clouds floated by, Blaine wished upon them. He hoped to survive his last year at home, hoped to be accepted into the school of his dreams - in the most amazing city in the world, and hoped to find a nice boy to share everything with.

 _"_ _Then I feel something 'bout to change._

 _So bring the lightning, bring the fire, bring the fall."_

 **June 8, 2016 – Manhattan**

Kurt is running early. It has been easy to get up at the crack of dawn these days. He's freshly graduated with a degree in Musical Theatre and Performing Arts (with honours) and he is more than ready to take on his future. He's so prepared in fact, that he already has a few Broadway auditions lined up (which is a nice change from all the off, and sometimes off-off, Broadway productions he's been a part of the last couple years).

The sun is shining and beginning its ascent into the sky above while Kurt walks to his favourite coffee shop on the corner. He and Rachel had moved into Manhattan last summer when they found a shoebox apartment for next to nothing (for Manhattan standards). The décor isn't that modern, the pipes are loud, the laundry is shared, and it is so small that Kurt had to get rid of a lot of his flea market treasures. It was worth it, though, to be living in the heart of New York City.

As Kurt gets in line to order his non-fat latte, he runs through his lines in his mind. He feels prepared for the audition, but it never hurts to go over them one last time. Ever since Kurt started at NYADA he's had a sole focus – to succeed on Broadway. He has become a bit of a hermit, only venturing out when it is for something that would further his education or performance experience, whether it is Broadway shows, karaoke, or outings to museums. Even Rachel has a more robust social life than he. She has a large group of friends and has even become romantically involved with a few of them, the latest being Broadway's new boy next door, Jesse St. James.

Kurt can't be bothered with any of that though. During his freshman year at NYADA he went out on dates, but when he noticed that his studies were slipping away, he put a stop to that real quick. Nothing would get in the way of his dreams, not even cute boys and the freedom to do anything he wanted with them.

He moves forward in line and shakes his head at himself. Yes, he is still a virgin, and has only experienced a couple of real kisses, but he is okay with that because he is a great actor and singer, and has a degree to back him up. He is comfortable in his skin, and now that he is on his way to real adulthood, he will have the time and energy to put into dating. Kurt wants it, but he knows that it is not something that can be forced. He will just wait until the time is right.

His turn comes up to order. When he looks up, instead of seeing the usual barista, Julia, he is met with a warm pair of honey-coloured eyes that take Kurt's very breath away.

 **June 8, 2016 – Manhattan**

Blaine is finally on the right track. It is the summer between his junior and senior year at NYU, where he has been working hard toward his music degree. He has managed to snag a job at one of the top record companies in the city for the summer. The experience will go a long way to further his career, and with one year left –that is invaluable.

Since he has moved to NYC, his relationship with his father hasn't gotten any better. In fact, when Blaine decided to study music as opposed to law, his father very quickly cut him off, financially. It is thanks to his mother, who has been padding his bank account for the past three years, and to his hard work that he has kept himself afloat and able to continue studying. This is the reason that despite landing a great job at the record company, Blaine still needs something extra for spending money.

When he saw that the coffee shop around the corner from his office was hiring, Blaine knew that it would be the perfect fit. At the time, he didn't know that this is the place his life would change for good. Two weeks into his new job, on a Saturday morning, he is met with a pair of azure eyes; Blaine instantly feels a connection. He knows. It is cliché, but he knows with absolute certainty that this man will somehow change his life. It's like he has been looking for him forever.

"Good morning," Blaine says, his voice full of wonderment.

Kurt blinks a couple times before he notices that someone is speaking to him. "Good – Good morning," Kurt stammers out. "You're not Julia. You must be new here."

"This is my fourth shift," Blaine confirms, his eyes never leaving the man in front of him.

Kurt approaches the counter and leans on it. He isn't sure if it is because he wants to get closer, or because he needs something to help his knees not buckle from under him. "It's nice to see a new face," Kurt exclaims, and then quickly adds, "nothing against Julia's face, of course."

"Of course," Blaine grins and leans forward, whispering, "That's okay, I don't lean that way either."

Kurt's heart flutters as he feels the warm blush trail up his chest, neck and to his face. "Oh umm…"

A clearing of someone's throat behind Kurt brings them both out of their entrancement. "What – what may I get for you?" Blaine asks.

"Oh. Right. Umm, I'll have a non-fat latte, please. Extra hot."

"Your name?" Blaine prompts as he readies the cup with a marker.

"Kurt. With a K."

"Coming right up Kurt with a K," Blaine says as he lets his gaze linger for a little longer than what is normal.

Blaine makes the drink while Kurt pays Julia, who has just come out from the back store room. She takes his money as her eyes bob from Kurt's face to Blaine's with a grin. "I think I'll be seeing a lot more of you now won't I?" She teases.

"Shush, you," Kurt protests as he moves over to finally let the next customer order.

A few moments later, his steaming cup is offered to him with a gaze that he has so much trouble tearing himself away from. "I hope to see you around, Kurt," Blaine smiles.

"Thanks," Kurt mumbles lamely. He turns and decides to take his drink out onto the patio because running lines in his head with _that_ view will be far too distracting. Once he sits down, he looks at his cup and reads what the cute barista has scrawled in red marker:

I found you!

Please call me?

212 896 2147

Blaine J


End file.
